Undone
by Night Empress of the Moon
Summary: Come undone, surrender is stronger; I don't need to be the hero tonight. We all want love, we all want honor, But nobody wants to pay the asking price. No one is immune to grief, no matter how much they may pretend. And sometimes, in the night, those memories that you keep locked up inside come flooding into your mind. Post-War. Simi-AU. Itachi-centric. Song-Fic. Undone by FFH.


**Itachi Uchiha**

His hands grip the edge of the window tight, the hard wood splintering slightly as the result. The sudden, sharp pain in his left hand causes him to look down, away from the bright, full moon and the stars surrounding the sky, away from the distraction.

 ** _Open up wide, swallow down deep_**

 ** _No spoon full of sugar could make it sweet._**

 ** _The cancer inside, stealing my sleep_**

 ** _Night after night it keeps haunting me._**

Distraction from the memories that haunt him, the memories that are so hard to block, especially in the dark of the night, the memories that destroy the bliss of sleep with nightmares of silence and death. And blood. Blood as red as his eyes, the red so common for a shinobi, the red that is now seeping from the palm of his hand, from the small piece of wood stuck in his skin, though the physical pain serves as a small distraction from his own traitorous mind.

 ** _The secrets I keep are tearing me up inside_**

 ** _I try to hide them and I wonder why._**

 ** _I wonder why I'm still runnin' when I know there's no escapin'._**

The secrets, the lies, the death, the pain… they all come rushing back at the sight of the crimson liquid now staining the windowsill. The sight, one so simple, sends him in to an almost panic. Almost. For Itachi Uchiha does not panic. Not now, not then, not ever. It is what is expected.

 ** _Come undone, surrender is stronger,_**

 ** _I don't need to be the hero tonight._**

 ** _We all want love, we all want honor_**

 ** _But nobody wants to pay the asking price._**

He calmly turns around and goes into the bathroom a few paces away. When he flips the switch, the bright, iridescent light momentarily blinds him, bringing back even more memories, memories of the years where darkness slowly but surely took over his sight. Yet the darkness does not last this time and he moves to the sink in slow, measured steps, cradling his injured hand in the other. As de removes the insignificant piece of wood, the sound of rushing water fills his ears along with the feeling of the cold of the liquid falling over his hands. When the bleeding has stopped and he is about to turn off the faucet, he looks up, into his own eyes.

 ** _Fall on my knees, fall on my pride_**

 ** _I'm trippin' over all the times I've lied._**

Suddenly, he is on the hard ceramic tile of the floor, for the sight he has just seen nearly makes him lose what little of his mind that he has left. Those eyes, his eyes, so full of pain and despair, of hopelessness, have shocked him. Has the night truly affected him so much? Is this all that is left of him? No. No, there has to be more. More in his life than pain and death and tragedy. More than these memories of friends and family long gone, all felled by the hands before his eyes. The hands of a monster.

 ** _I'm askin' please but I can see in Your eyes_**

 ** _You don't need tears for alibis._**

A monster that made his little brother cry. The memory of those tears, of the eyes from which they came, of the small face that held those eyes, on that night, the night where Itachi had truly become a monster. The murderer of the Uchiha Clan, the Uchiha above them all, the one that destroyed his entire life for the sake of peace, and his little brother. Sparing only him, the most important person in his life. The only one he could not kill.

 ** _It's true what they say, love must be blind_**

 ** _That's why Your still standing by the sinner's side._**

 ** _Your still by my side when all the things I've done have left You bleedin'._**

He rises steadily, on legs that should be shaking, but are strong, too strong for their own good. He moves fast, faster than most any human eyes can see, to the room a few doors down. The young man who occupies the room is asleep, peaceful and calm, thanks to the pills provided by the Lady Hokage and the young man's pink-haired girlfriend. Itachi smiles slightly, but one can hardly call any expression so full of grief anything like a smile. As he slowly closes the door and makes the short journey back to his own room, the thing that could have been a smile falls from his face, replaced by an expression that can only be called tragic.

 ** _Come undone, surrender is stronger,_**

 ** _I don't need to be the hero tonight._**

 ** _We all want love, we all want honor_**

 ** _But nobody wants to pay the asking price._**

When he closes the door to his room, his knees give out under him and he falls ungracefully to the wooden floor, the legs that should have been strong finally giving way under the pain and grief of their owner. He rests his head against the hard door that now supports his upper body, one of the strongest ninja to ever walk the earth, the prodigy of the Uchiha, the man that became an ANBU Captain at the tender age of thirteen, is now nearly suffocated by the images running through his traitor of a mind.

 ** _I don't think I can drive it home tonight._**

 ** _I don't think I wanna be alone tonight._**

His mother, his father, his best friend, their faces flash behind his closed eyelids. Their faces, so dear to him, morph in to the cold pallor of death, their eyes sink back into their skulls, their mouths twist into sad smiles, as they fall back, back in to the darkness, back to death. His hand reaches out pitifully, trying to stop their decent, to no avail. After all, one cannot change the past. What is done is done. There is no going back. No matter how much he wants to. For just one more moment with them, there is little he would not do.

 ** _Come undone, surrender is stronger,_**

 ** _I don't need to be the hero tonight._**

 ** _We all want love, we all want honor_**

 ** _But nobody wants to pay the asking price_**

Even as he tries to push them back, the memories keep coming, in greater and greater force. _His mother cooking dinner, his father reading something for work, training with_ _Shisui…_ memories so bittersweet. Then the others come just as fast.

 ** _Come undone, surrender is stronger,_**

 ** _I don't need to be the hero tonight._**

 ** _We all want love, we all want honor_**

 ** _But nobody wants to pay the asking price_**

These bring nothing but pain, _Shisui falling to his death over the cliff, his parent's final words and then their bodies, his father's over his mother's, as if he was protecting her even in death… Sasuke's face as he tells the lies that shapes his world for the rest of his life._

"No more. No more, please," Itachi whispers to no one, the night is cold and silent, just like he is supposed to be.

 ** _Come undone, surrender is stronger,_**

 ** _I don't need to be the hero tonight._**

 ** _We all want love, we all want honor_**

 ** _But nobody wants to pay the asking price_**

But when has the night ever listened to a mere mortal man, no matter how much power they possess? Now come the memories of the years following, the years he spent with the Akatsuki, the destined fight that he had planned to lose, the war, realizing that he was not dead, coming back to the Hidden Leaf with his little brother as a hero, the mistrust that still resides in the eyes of many common people, the never-ending cycle of pain.

 ** _Come undone, surrender is stronger,_**

 ** _I don't need to be the hero tonight._**

 ** _We all want love, we all want honor_**

 ** _But nobody wants to pay the asking price_**

He moves his head slightly, opening his eyes to look at the ceiling, bare and quiet, trying to clear his mind of the memories, trying to rid his body of this all-consuming _pain_ , wishing, for the smallest measure of time, that his heart will just _stop_ , so that the grief will end. He does not know why he even bothers, no matter how much he wishes, nothing will ever change, this pain will never end, and it will just be pushed to the back of his mind in the daylight, where he will pretend that nothing is wrong, for Sasuke's sake. Sasuke. Yes, that is right, that is the reason Itachi will suffer a thousand times this pain, all for his beloved little brother. For the small life they have re-built together. And yet… and yet… how much more of this can his mind and body take, how much more until the pain consumes him completely?

 ** _Come undone, surrender is stronger,_**

 ** _I don't need to be the hero tonight._**

 ** _We all want love, we all want honor_**

 ** _But nobody wants to pay the asking price_**

And so in the night of the full moon, the prodigy of the Uchiha comes Undone.


End file.
